i bet that tasted better going in than it did coming out
Last week, some pro-life douchebag came into the national spotlight when a controversial sculpture of his was put on display at some stupid gallery in some retarded place, probably New York. The sculpture was of Britney Spears (although the face looks nothing like her, proving that this guy learned nothing in art school and his parents threw those thousands of dollars in tuition in the garbage) giving birth to her son, doggy-style (?), on a bearskin rug. Beautiful, the miracle of life. The world could use some more three-dimensional art like this. Here are some great ideas I'm going to have commissioned for the dens in my various homes:

Star Jones of "The View," sculpted in Crisco, lying on an operating table getting liposuction, gastric-bypass surgery, and weight-loss hypnosis as she is fitted for breast implants by a bearskin rug.

None-hit-wonder pop sensation Willa Ford, in molded Nerf, being penetrated in some fashion by every member of the Backstreet Boys, who are in turn being butt-fucked by bearskin rugs. The sculpture will be obscured by a giant DVD of Into the Blue placed in front of it to symbolize the issue of Playboy from 2 months ago which featured a nude pictorial of Ford inside, but showed Jessica Alba on the cover.
stolen picture from yet another pat magazine ripoff
Rev. Fred Phelps, creator of godhatesfags.com, kneeling on an alter in a holy fashion, praying to the Prince of Peace, Jesus H. Christ, who will be depicted as a bearskin rug nailed to a cross. The sculpture of Phelps (who has been organizing protests at military funerals to show express his church's belief that the somewhat-awkward war in Iraq is a result of America's tolerance toward homosexuality) will be crafted by self-adhesive cum-rags collected from the trash can in his office, located right below a framed photo of an aborted fetus.

A holographic projection of Oprah, sitting on a port-o-john, giving birth to A Million Little Pieces author James Frey, surrounded by a horde of people who don't read enough to realize that fictional or not, drug memoirs are ALWAYS BORING. Seriously, I couldn't finish More, Now, Again, Permanent Midnight, or anything Rush Limbaugh has ever written.

Julian Rock Hard Doll - Designed Exclusively for the INDEPENDENT woman! Incredibly life-like doll has a gorgeous mannequin head, gazing brown eyes, flowing hair, soft kissable lips and a succulent, erotic rotating and vibrating deep penetrating tongue. Julian is Better-Than-Real with a life-like rotating dong and exquisitely soft vibrating balls with a muscular physique and a firm, tight ass. Powered by the easy dial, super-powerful multi-speed BP-100TM Power Packs. Requires 4 AA batteries. Julian Rock Hard Doll is manufactured by Cal Exotics.

A bearskin rug, made from real bearskin.